literature

Feelings (Jean Kirschstein x Reader)

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Literature Text

It wasn't easy fighting with Jean. As cheesy as it sounds, he was kind of like your soul mate; the first evening of training camp, he strode to your table and introduced himself, like the confident teenager he was. You thought it nice of him to want to befriend you, so you decided to do the same. As soon as he sparked up a conversation, the two of you clicked, and became virtually inseparable. 

Over the three years at training camp, your friendship somewhat blossomed into a relationship. It was hard to tell; you never shared a kiss nor have you committed any other romantic act. But, whenever times got tough, you were there to comfort him, and he was there to comfort you. 

There was one evening where your anxiety got the best of you. The thought of graduating, and going out to face the real world frightened you, and the only way to calm yourself down, you found, was to cry behind the showers after curfew. How Jean found you was still a mystery, but he arrived, his presence reassuring. 

"I'm joining the Survey Corps."

A puzzled expression crossed Jean's face, "Excuse me....What?"

"I'm going to join the Corps with you."

He shook his head, "No, no, no, you're not."

Your eyebrows furrowed in irritation, "And you have a say in my decision?"

"Look," He exhaled. "You were able to clinch tenth in the class. Why don't you join the Military Police instead?"

"You're sixth. Why don't you join?"

"Because I have a reason, and a good one too."

"Maybe I too have good reasons."

"Don't," He closed his eyes and pinched the skin between his eyebrows with his forefinger and thumb. "Just don't."

You felt the atmosphere change, and that's when you realized that the two of you were not alone. A few of your classmates, like Mikasa Ackerman, Eren Jaeger, Armin Artlert, Sasha Braus, and Connie Springer, were standing beside a building not too far from the two of you, witnessing everything. 

You continued in a more quiet yet serious tone, "I know the death of a loved one can change a person, but you acting like this is out of-"

Jean grabbed a fistful of your collar, sending gasps through your five-man audience. You too were just as shocked as they were.

"Jean!" Sasha interjected, although Jean wasn't phased by her. All of his focus was on you. 

"You don't know what it's like to lose someone close to you," He spat. "You didn't know Marco like I knew him. He wasn't just a friend, he was a brother, and when I found him dead, for a second, I couldn't bare it. See? You haven't lost someone close to you, so you haven't experienced the grief that comes along with it."

"Jean!" Mikasa's fingers encircled Jean's wrist. "Let her go. Now."

Realization hit Jean, and his arm fell back to his side. For a moment, you noticed a hint of hurt and anguish in his eyes before he turned to depart the scene. 

You didn't realize you were crying until Mikasa dabbed your cheeks with the hem of her scarf. 

--------------------

"You sure your cloak isn't tight around your neck?"

His voice surprised you. You turned around to face him; he was standing fairly close, with one hand resting on his hip. He casually shifted his weight to one leg.

"Is it?"

You shook your head, "No, it's not."

He clicked his tongue, closed his eyes, and exhaled, his voice lowering in volume, "I just wanted to apologize for what I did the other day. I was angry and rash and violent and I'm sorry."

He paused, "I care about you deeply, so it's in my nature to protect you to the best of my abilities. In the heat of the moment, I thought the best way to talk you out of the Corps was to be angry with you. It's like a death wish, the Corps, and it would be hard for me to see you go out there and risk your life. Finding Marco dead was one thing, but finding you dead.....I just can't imagine a life without you."

And in just a few sentences, Jean poured his heart out to you. You were speechless, and when Jean noticed, his chest rumbled with laughter.

"I know I just confessed my feelings for you, but what I want the most is your acceptance of my apol-"

You threw yourself into his arms and kissed him. It was a rash, bold move, yes, but seeing as this would be one of your last moments with him before the expedition, you were willing to take the risk. 

"I do accept your apology."
i didn't proofread it so it might be kind of poopy
but yes enjoy
© 2013 - 2024 kirschteinsparklez
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